(Series of Answers by the Scholar Ata bin Khalil Abu al-Rashtah, Ameer of Hizb ut-Tahrir, to the Questions of the Visitors of his Facebook Page)
To Mysite Fantastica and to Абдуллах Ахъяров
Question: Mysite Fantastica
Assalamu Alaikum, my dear brother:
Could you please answer this question for me?
I am a single Muslim young man who loves Allah (swt) and Islam, and I love to implement what our beloved and master Muhammad (saw) brought.
I live in an environment where there is no religion or morals. Islam for us is only a name or a symbol given to us... Our schools teach curricula hostile to Islam...
The Question: I do not want to get married because I know that I will not be able to keep my sons and daughters on my religion, Islam; "it is as if I am holding a burning coal."
I know that my children will learn what harms them, and I do not have time to teach them because of my work. Also, circumstances will force my wife to work as well...
In short: there are hadiths that say marriage is half of the religion and I have actually read them, and there is a hadith that means that the wicked of the Ummah are the bachelors. Is it true that if I do not get married, I will not complete my religion?
I hope to receive an answer from you, and I thank you very much.
Question: Абдуллах Ахъяров
• Ассаламу алейкум ва рахматуллахи ва баракатух. Пусть Аллах вас хранит и воздаст вам раем. У меня два вопроса.
1. Я хочу жениться и когда узнаю о какой то сестре нахожу ее опекуна, чтоб взять разрешение встретиться с его дочерью. Отец будучи соблюдающим, нашим братом, не зная меня лично, дает разрешение пообщаться с дочерью и обычно встреча проходит где то в парке или кафе (общественном месте). Не лучше ли, если эта встреча проходила бы у девушки дома, так как обычно при встрече вне дома девушка проявляет не решительность и просто отказывает?
2. У нас в Крыму много братьев желающих жениться, но многие сестры отдают предпочтение учебе, ссылаясь на то что это сунна. Хотелось бы узнать для девушки перед Аллахом лучше быть учащейся в светском заведении или выйти замуж?
Translation of the Question:
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh. May Allah protect you and admit you to Paradise.
I have two questions:
I want to get married, and when I find a sister and find her guardian to take permission to meet his daughter, this conservative father—who does not know me personally—gives me permission to meet his daughter. Usually, this meeting happens in a public park or in a café. Is it not better for this meeting to take place in her home? Especially since the sisters feel hesitant because they feel a lack of seriousness when meeting them in parks or cafés, which usually leads the sister to refuse marriage.
Many brothers here in Crimea intend to marry, but many sisters make excuses not to marry, preferring study on the grounds that studying is a Sunnah. Here I would like to ask, is it not better in the sight of Allah (swt) for sisters to get married and prioritize that over studying in these secular institutions?
The Answer:
Wa Alaikum Assalam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh.
The question of "Mysite Fantastica" and the question of "Эмиль Сайфуллаев" have similarities as they relate to marriage and its affairs. Therefore, my answer below is for both of them, may Allah (swt) guide them to the best of their affairs:
- Allah (swt) created man and made it among His signs that He created the two pairs, male and female, and placed between them affection and mercy through marriage in accordance with the Sharia rulings. He (swt) said:
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." (QS Ar-Rum [30]: 21)
- Islam encourages marriage, as it is more effective in lowering the gaze, guarding one's chastity, calming the soul, and protecting the religion:
- Al-Bukhari narrated from Abdullah (ra) that he said: We were with the Prophet (saw) and he said:
«مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ البَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ، فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ، وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ، وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ، فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ»
"Whoever among you can afford to get married, let him do so, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one's chastity. And whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him."
- Al-Hakim narrated in al-Mustadrak from Anas bin Malik (ra) that the Messenger of Allah (saw) said:
«مَنْ رَزَقَهُ اللَّهُ امْرَأَةً صَالِحَةً، فَقَدْ أَعَانَهُ عَلَى شَطْرِ دِينِهِ، فَلْيَتَّقِ اللَّهَ فِي الشَّطْرِ الثَّانِي»
"Whomever Allah provides with a righteous woman, He has assisted him in half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the second half." Al-Hakim said this hadith has a Sahih chain of narration, and al-Dhahabi agreed with him.
- Furthermore, the one who seeks marriage to remain chaste is one of the three whom Allah (swt) helps. Ahmad narrated in his Musnad from Abu Hurairah that the Prophet (saw) said:
«ثَلَاثَةٌ كُلُّهُمْ حَقٌّ عَلَى اللهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ: عَوْنُهُ الْمُجَاهِدُ فِي سَبِيلِ اللهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ، وَالنَّاكِحُ لِيَسْتَعْفِفَ، وَالْمُكَاتَبُ يُرِيدُ الْأَدَاءَ»
"There are three whom Allah has taken it upon Himself to help: the one who strives in the way of Allah (swt), the one who marries seeking to remain chaste, and the slave who has made a contract to buy his freedom and wants to pay it off."
- The Messenger of Allah (saw) forbade not marrying for those capable of it. Al-Nasa’i narrated from Samurah bin Jundub from the Prophet (saw):
«أَنَّهُ نَهَى عَنِ التَّبَتُّلِ»
"That he forbade celibacy (tabattul)." Ibn Majah also narrated it.
- The Messenger (saw) advised fathers that if someone whose religion and character they are pleased with comes to them, they should marry him off. Al-Tirmidhi narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Messenger of Allah (saw) said:
«إِذَا خَطَبَ إِلَيْكُمْ مَنْ تَرْضَوْنَ دِينَهُ وَخُلُقَهُ فَزَوِّجُوهُ، إِلَّا تَفْعَلُوا تَكُنْ فِتْنَةٌ فِي الأَرْضِ، وَفَسَادٌ عَرِيضٌ»
"If someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to you, then marry (your daughter) to him. If you do not do so, there will be fitnah on earth and widespread corruption." Ibn Majah narrated it with the wording: "If someone comes to you whose character and religion you are pleased with, then marry him off..."
- Likewise, the Messenger (saw) recommended choosing a righteous woman of religion who protects her husband, children, and home. Al-Bukhari and Muslim narrated from Abu Hurairah (ra) that the Prophet (saw) said:
«تُنْكَحُ المَرْأَةُ لِأَرْبَعٍ: لِمَالِهَا وَلِحَسَبِهَا وَجَمَالِهَا وَلِدِينِهَا، فَاظْفَرْ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ، تَرِبَتْ يَدَاكَ»
"A woman is married for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religion. So choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust."
- As for your statement, "And there is a hadith that means that the wicked of the Ummah are the bachelors," this hadith is da'if (weak), and it is as follows: Ahmad narrated in his Musnad from a man, from Abu Dharr, who said: A man called Akkaf bin Bishr al-Tamimi entered upon the Messenger of Allah (saw), and the Prophet (saw) said to him: "O Akkaf, do you have a wife?" He said: No... He said: "Indeed, our Sunnah is marriage; the worst among you are your bachelors..." The chain of this hadith is weak due to the anonymity of the man narrating from Abu Dharr and due to inconsistency in its chains. Al-Tabarani narrated it in al-Kabir and others from the path of Baqiyyah bin al-Walid, both from Muawiyah bin Yahya, from Sulayman bin Musa, from Mak-hool, from Gudaif bin al-Harith, from Atiyyah bin Busr al-Mazini who said: Akkaf bin Wada'ah al-Hilali came to the Messenger of Allah (saw)... and he mentioned it. This chain is weak because of Muawiyah bin Yahya al-Sadafi, and Baqiyyah bin al-Walid is also weak.
Therefore, bachelors are not necessarily the worst of people; rather, the wicked can be among the bachelors and others according to the conduct of each individual.
Summary: The Messenger (saw) encourages marriage for those capable of it, as it better protects one's religion, guards chastity, and lowers the gaze... Likewise, he (saw) forbids tabattul, meaning abstaining from marriage... Accordingly, as long as you, the questioner, are capable of marriage, I advise you to marry and choose a righteous woman, and exert your utmost effort in building a righteous family. Be sincere to Allah (swt) and truthful with the Messenger of Allah (saw), and you will—by Allah’s permission—be able to raise your children in a righteous upbringing, and Allah (swt) takes care of the righteous.
- As for what was mentioned in the Ukrainian young man's question, the answer is as follows:
a- The Messenger (saw) advised whoever wants to propose to a woman to see her. He (saw) said in what was narrated by al-Tirmidhi from Bakr bin Abdullah al-Muzani, from al-Mughirah bin Shu'bah, that he proposed to a woman, and the Prophet (saw) said:
«انْظُرْ إِلَيْهَا، فَإِنَّهُ أَحْرَى أَنْ يُؤْدَمَ بَيْنَكُمَا»
"Look at her, for it is more likely to create harmony between you." Regarding this matter, there are narrations from Muhammad bin Maslamah, Jabir, Abu Humaid, Abu Hurairah, and Anas. "This is a Hasan hadith," and al-Hakim also narrated it and said it is Sahih according to the conditions of the two Sheikhs, and al-Dhahabi agreed with him.
The suitor can go to her family and see what is permissible of her—the face and the hands—but it is not permissible for him to be in seclusion (khalwah) with her, or to go out with her... because he is a stranger to her. Therefore, I was surprised by what was mentioned in the question—that you wanted to see her in her family's home, but they said to you, "No, instead go out you and her together, and see her!" It seems there is a misunderstanding in the question.
b- As for what was mentioned in the question: Is it more important for a woman to complete her university studies than marriage if someone whose religion and character she is pleased with comes to her? The correct view is what was mentioned in the hadith of the Messenger of Allah (saw) narrated by al-Tirmidhi from Abu Hurairah who said: The Messenger of Allah (saw) said:
«إِذَا خَطَبَ إِلَيْكُمْ مَنْ تَرْضَوْنَ دِينَهُ وَخُلُقَهُ فَزَوِّجُوهُ، إِلَّا تَفْعَلُوا تَكُنْ فِتْنَةٌ فِي الأَرْضِ، وَفَسَادٌ عَرِيضٌ»
"If someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to you, then marry (your daughter) to him. If you do not do so, there will be fitnah on earth and widespread corruption." Ibn Majah narrated it with the wording: "If someone comes to you whose character and religion you are pleased with, then marry him off; if you do not do so, there will be fitnah on earth and widespread corruption." It is clear from the context that there is a decisive prohibition for the woman’s guardians against rejecting a suitor if there is nothing blameworthy in his religion and character—meaning not just the man’s prayer and fasting... but his treatment of people, his good conduct, and his adherence in all of that to the Sharia rulings. If the parents inquire about the man’s religion and his treatment of others with adherence to Sharia rulings, and it is proven to them that his religion and character are pleasing—by Allah's permission—then it is forbidden for the guardians to refuse and prevent their daughter's marriage to this suitor under the pretext of the girl completing her university studies. Rather, they should agree and not prevent their daughter from marriage, as this is more protective of the religion and more upright, by Allah's permission.
In conclusion, I advise everyone capable of marriage to marry a righteous woman, for she is the "good" (hasanah) of this world, as mentioned in Umda al-Qari Sharh Sahih al-Bukhari from Ali (ra) that "The good in this world is a righteous woman, and in the Hereafter it is Paradise," referring to the noble verse:
﴿رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفِي الْآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ﴾
"Our Lord! Grant us good in this world and good in the Hereafter, and save us from the punishment of the Fire." (QS Al-Baqarah [2]: 201)
Your brother,
Ata bin Khalil Abu al-Rashtah
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